Cycling NZ26 - Day 29 - Angels

Well, that’s it folks. Today I arrived into a gloriously sunny Christchurch. On the scale of - which big New Zealand city would you like to spend the most time in?  Well of the 3 - Christchurch is number 1 by miles. 

Today was a nice easy 18 mile cruise into town. On the flat. Racing skinny old racing snakes on their blunt razors. And beating them!  You know what is going through his head. WTF!  A fat man on a fully loaded tour bike and I can’t keep up with him!

I tell him about my journey. 

…I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack e-bikes on fire off the shoulder of an upside down Orion. I watched mosquitos glitter in the dark near the Timber Trail Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like [I cough one last time] tears in rain. Time to die….

It might have felt like it on a number of occasions but NO THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO DIE!  Memories. So so important to us all. It is why I write this BLOG and video my rides cos for sure I want to remember what I have done and to be ALIVE!  That end of days moment will come one day but not yet, not yet…

 I could have cycled here in a one’er yesterday but no. You’ve been taught many things whilst in country here, one of which is be kind to yourself Mr Tyssen. 

Last night I started to eat the remains of the food that was still on the bike. Which included a beef and horseradish sandwich, an apple, some luxury marshmallow’y things, a steak pie, a piece of rocky road, no not that. A cuddly toy!  Yeah my diet is starting to sound like the Generation Game conveyor belt with my gob wrapped around the end of it.  

Boy oh boy there’s not been a day without Audrey II just absolutely demanding to be fed. Although her routine punch of the green button on her old Greek airport conveyor belt to eject yesterdays baggage has become somewhat random. Eyup!  What?  Why Now?  I seem to have uttered those words more than once on an early morning climb. 

And in the middle of my cold?  Oh what a to do. To unwrap oneself at the end of a hard day only to find that Brooks, Hairy Melon and Mr Softee have had a 3-some!  Oh hell what a mess. Brooks has again badly bent his nose and how he managed to loosen his nuts God only knows. Mr softee defo had not been in the chiller for long enough before coming out to play and Hairy Melon.. well we’ve all seen 3 year old children who have been at the extra big jar of Nutella haven’t we?  It’s all up and around her face and into her nostrils and…. I momentarily catch her licking her sticky fingers. Eeewwww!

Poor old Balloon Dog. He’s down the other end of the newly installed concrete path cowering in the bushes.  It’s time to bring that little party to a conclusion.  Right Now!

Time to be careful too, Wayne. OK you’ve had your foot hard on the food throttle for the last month and surprisingly your clothes still fit!  Nonetheless at times over 4000 calories more than normal was needed to drive your fat carcass across up down under and all over this country wasn’t it. 

Last night though also included another Chinese spicy noodle thingy with an added can of tuna. It’s a lovely ready meal done in 5 minutes but there must be coriander in it or something of its ilk cos again I woke last night with that bloody rigour mortice surging through my body. I think I need to chat to the doctor about it as when it happens it is as scary as hell!  I would just hate to have anyone sleeping with me when I am ‘in the moment’ as it would be quite scary for them too.  Unless they like catching their men when they are ‘rigid’ and unable to fight back 😳

Oops. Whats that!  Audrey II is having a tantrum. RAARRGGHH!  Smashing the place up cos she says she’s hungry!  Well little lady I tell her you had better STOP that and stop it quickly cos it’s only 5pm and if you don’t well there’s gonna be a visit next week to the you know where. He’s ready to get his staples out and so if you don’t behave yourself you’re gonna get the tuck ok. I give her that look. She looks at me firstly through shocked eyes which gradually fall into sad eyes beneath her monobrow. She drops her food fight, looks down at the same time as raising her eyes and agrees to be a good hairy monstrous big gobbly little girl. Good. Thats one of the children back under control. Well at least for tonight.  You know how it is, huh?

But whats with the angels, Wayne?

Well I’ve gotta say that there have been many moments on this journey when I’ve felt blessed. In that wow that was lucky kinda moments. It could be as simple as the decision to just ignore the musings of my Crap nav and take the other fork in my life only to find something wondrously beautiful just around the corner.  Something or someone is showing me the best way. 

I find myself cycling along getting glimpses of people at the edge of my vision. I look and there’s nobody there. I look in my rear view mirror and I’m convinced that there is someone following me. I’m surrounded by invisible folk. For sure as is the norm for me I have seen way too many graveyards on my travels. Full of folk sitting on their stones looking at the fat man on the bike wishing that they could be doing what I do. 

How many times did cars and trucks just slow down and follow me instead of trying that overtake on the long narrow bridge?  Heaps of times. As though my angels are there whispering in their ears why not slow down and give the fat man ahead the space to get safely across this bridge. And so they did. 

How many times did I decide to break off of the’ normal’ tour route only to find beautiful people and phenomenal vistas. Wow Wayne!  Is this all random like of are you being gently guided my lad to see stuff that most other cycling folk have not seen because of their addiction to the defined cycling routes. And a feeling that someone is saying do not worry ma boy we will see ya safe as you make your own path in this life. 

How much more could I write or tell?  Heaps and heaps and heaps. Just thinking about it has brought a tear to my eye. The only thing missing is to have someone with me. Someone with whom to share the beauty of it all. 

Right now I’m sat in a pub. The first pub I’ve been in forever. It’s sunny. With a Stella in hand.  There’s live music.  Balloon dog is tapping to the beat. I’m kinda very happy and very sad at the same time. You might know what I mean. 

Well the bike shop has provided the perfect box. I go there tomorrow to pick it up. Sunday will be a day for washing and disassembly. Monday is the flight back to Auckland and Tuesday the flight back to the UK. It’s all booked. 

Now to say that I am apprehensive as the flight path takes me directly along a narrow corridor, threading a needle between two war zones. Iran to the south and Ukraine to the north. 

C’mon Wayne you will be ok ma boy. 

You’ll have a thousand angels with ya 😊🙏🙏🙏

Ciao for now. 

Ps I will probably write one more time. Perhaps spaghetti western style about the good the bad and the ugly. Now thats one to help fill the time on my long flight home. The original film was over 3 hours long. As will be the video of this journey when I produce it in the coming months….

So watch out! 😊🙏

Ciao for now