Fat Bloke on a Bike

Just to say all bets are still ON! I have not finished!  You cannot claim your winnings yet, whichever way you’ve bet, until the very very end which includes me finishing this final BLOG entry with my signature ‘Ciao for now’. Got that? OK!  I’m on the final run in. Get yer binoculars out!  Sorry this one is a long read…. Enjoy… :-) It’s just after 3am and I’m stuck in a warm damp bed with the upper sheet, the lower sheet, the duvet and both pillows wrapped tight around me as though gripped inside some mad moist marshmallow straight jacket.  I can’t move!  I’ve been stuck like this ever since I opened my eyes and looked at both clocks at 2:44 precisely.  Hmmm, perhaps a small residual post cataract operation problem where I cannot get both eyes to focus on the same clock at the same time when laid on my side without going cross eyed.  I’m gonna have to go back and see The Italian about that little problem cos boss-eyed I should not be even after a st...

I had so much to write about today. Completed almost 90 miles!  Chuckled to myself I did as I pirouetted across the mud encrusted fens about what was going in the BLOG tonight… But I’m gonna spare you the pain of that cos I truly almost failed at the last fence today 😫 The attached video explains.  I’m late into the Hotel in Lincoln so I need some well earned rest ready for the last 75 mile leg to York tomorrow .  I am sorry, no meat pie here.  Just a small selection of ultra expensive carpet burgers and beer at almost £7 a pint.  Gulp! Going by today’s debacle it’s now odds on I wont make it! Place your bets now… Ciao for now

Why do I write a blog when cycling?   Well, if you have read my previous blog entries you will know that some time ago I cancelled my TV license simply because I was fed up of shouting expletives at the screen.   For example last night after peeling the sweaty gear off I slumped my carcass on the bed and started to hunt around the ‘in room entertainment’ TV channels for something / anything worthy of my intellect to watch.  So it can be quite low brow really.   BBC1 - Pointless.  Correct.  It was.  BBC2 - some shitty selling of old tat programme.  Next.  ITV - adverts.  Flip them feckers off.  Channel 4 - something for the non binaries.  Not me.  Etc.  I flipped sequentially through every damn channel all the way past 100 with me muttering - no, crap, no, nothing, nothing, no, crap, crap, old 70s sitcom no - nope GAAHH!…. You get my drift.   Somewhere in the dead air past channel 185 I decide to start again. ...

A connoisseur I am not. Of many things in this life. But there is one thing that I can judge pretty damn well.  Today’s ride has taken me from London Kings Cross to a small place in the Essexorian hills. I’ve skittered my way out of London on the ‘black ice route’ as I’ll call it - on my winter tour bike ride from London back home to York. About 250 miles what with all the slip sliding around the back lanes trying to avoid the gritted but busy A roads.  Its been a grand day. Cold but dry with a silvery winter sun trying its damnedest to lay some warmth on my back. Nah. Thats not working today. My fridgeometer says its just right today to keep the turkey fresh. Yes, it did. I’m layered in 4 lots of garb with a tail wind yet I still feel the icyness cutting into my chest. 🥶 Surprisingly, once away from Kings Cross the crap nav soon has me pirouetting and twirling through the backstreets of london, ooh what a sight, across its northern parkland and the like.  In fact follow...