Fat Bloke on a Bike

Just following on from my last post - A WARNING - if I ever offer to make you a cheese sandwich with mayo may I suggest that you politely decline... 😝 Anyway, for those of you who may be following my prep for New Zealand then, well, tommorrow is departure day.  I travelled to the airport for an overnight stay today and will be spending way too much time in a reclining chair with Kathy Pathetic who will be taking me all the way starting 10.30am Tuesday.  Arriving 07:00 in Auckland New Zealand on Thursday.   I promised myself, nay I double promised myself that there would be no mad rush in the last 2 weeks.  I was determined not to get my knickers in a twist the day before travelling.  But hey, I am an idiot and to be honest I work at my absolute best when under a bit of pressure.  A teensy bit like being back at work really except this is the type of pressure that I can take.   I've eaten everything in the house.  At her insistence I've licked Mad...

Whoever it is, will you PLEASE stop greasing my wheels!  It seems like only moments ago that I told the world through this blog and my poo tube videos that the New Zealand ride was really going to happen this year.  I promised myself that under no circumstances would I put any pressure on myself because the very LAST thing I wanted was to re-introduce those ex-work stressful thoughts and feelings just before setting off.   Bless, I have tried and surprisingly YES, everything is starting to fall nicely into place.  However, the XXL Craghopper lightweight shirt ordered last week arrived today but it is still a might too 'spray on' when stretched over my more than ample non cycling friendly bulk.  Damn.  Same goes for my XXL Speedo 'Parrot Mugger' shorts going by the noises ma boys are making in the tightness of them all.  I think I'm gonna have to go up another size else risk frightening grannies and small children by exposing the worlds biggest pencil s...

Unlike the birds I do not have to go out in this blimmin' damp cold weather.  Problem is I'm about to undertake the biggest cycle journey of my life.  Whilst some folk talk about riding oneself fit without any preparation then if I do that, even with all of the historical touring miles behind me, all I'll do is ride myself into the ground.  You see I've not done very much riding since the end of last season.   The mix of at least 1000 miles on the bike and at least 60,000ft of ascent and all done at the driest and possibly warmest time of the year means that no prep = dead cyclist if I didn't do something about it.  I'm not too worried about what YOU might wish but for sure it's not the way I plan to leave this planet when I'm all done. So I've been doing some winter riding on the bike.  Today was a shakedown ride after completing several 'bike service' changes.  All done by moi.  This included at least; a new bottom bracket bearing, new peda...

Have you ever looked outside of your house on a brass knackerish kinda day and thought.. how the hell do BIRDS survive in such conditions?  Surely it cannot be because of fat alone.  Built up by gorging on all that is calorific during the good months?  Nah, it must be something else.  Believe me I have tried.  There is no way you will find me ever again at this time of the year perched in a tree in my birthday suit with perhaps only a feather boa to tickle my fancy.  Come springtime well, thats a different story. Then there are those long distance flyers with inbuilt compasses and a longing for warmer climes who undertake audacious journeys to get to their winter destinations.  Now, that I can relate to.  Yep, that's what I'm gonna do. Yep, I've got a flap on right now.  In just over 2 weeks I'm away.  To NEW ZEALAND! Oh GOD, so much to sort!  I'm taking my Surly OGRE bike with me.  Oh the arguements, wails and moans here with ...