Cycling NZ26 - Morning Campers!

I awoke today to the sound of Brian in the control room sniggering to himself as he uttered the words ‘Gobblers Knob’ which set me off giggling too as they echoed down the empty cavern between my ears. Aye, yesterday was Groundhog Day. Again. 

I’m back in another hotel room. It could be the same place really as all those hotels I’d stayed at with work over the years. A large rectangular room with a super king bed and an en-suite bathroom tucked into one corner.  Dimly lit with poor fitting windows that totally failed to block the sound of the aircraft taking off. TV, desk, coffee table and chairs. Yes I’ve seen this shit before. 

I look out of the window to the dimly lit multi storey car park through misty glass eyes as I listen to ‘I got you babe’ playing through the hotels tannoy radio system.  I’m bored. I’m not going into the hyper expensive hotel bar to mix with its captive audience. No. Time for a walk. I don’t want a fixed price 50 quid two course meal tonight. No, just a sandwich so I hoof it off into the airport terminal to look for a small coffee shop for a sarnie and a drink. 

Now I have been suffering with rats at the other house. A critter that just loves the twists and turns and ups and downs given by a life living and crawling through cupboards, walls and loft spaces eating shit and generally being a nuisance to every one else. 

Well, A bit like Manchester airport innit. This place is their Disneyland. Designed and planned by a mad Sustrans planner who's been sniffing the wrong end of his magic marker.  I am in a maze, possibly being watched by pan-dimensional ultra intelligent mice as I try but fail to navigate my way to a nice cheese sandwich.  I find some meal deal of a place with hairier food than I might ever find between Mademoiselle Frigo’s white bits. Well yes OK I’ve been inoculated. So in I go.  Then back to the room. 

Yes I’ve defo been here before.   How corporate hotels all follow the same layout. Long prison corridors that are bereft of signs means that I wear my shoe leather out before I find my cell for the night.

This morning I was up early but in my haste managed to get the shit shower and shave routine in completely the wrong order which resulted in an argument with Mr Softee whilst bent over trying to keep the wrapped towel on my head.  0530 breakfast sees me sat alone scoffing a full tray of hash browns and eggs which are likely to disembowel me somewhere over western China.  It’ll probably come out all angry like as we fly over or close to Myanmar in support of the rebels.  

Well how I did it God only knows but I manage to fold my bike into the back of the minibus.  It’s about now that the collywobbles kick in.  Ive managed post my retirement to suppress and manage those stress and anxiety feelings which caused me to leave BT and retire myself early.  Whilst not the best way to leave work it was the BEST decision ever.  Nonetheless a lovely lady helped me with check in.  All was good.  However at the oversize luggage carousel after applying the security tape to the upended bike box I momentarily turned my back and with a shriek it fell like a freshly mown tree crushing a security fence on the way down.  Oh God!  The first of many falls?  I hope not.  All I can say is thank God there wasn't a little old Indian lady at the side of the box cos for sure she would be a bag of broken bones with my tank of a bike resting on top of her.

Perhaps today the Groundhog Day curse will be broken.  I’m currently sat in a cafe looking out again at the tarmac waiting for this day to again pass…

Tonight I dine with Kathy Pathetic.  Apparently she a bit air headed and whines a lot. Oh joy.  Here’s hoping that there is cheese and black forest gateaux on the menu. 

Ciao for now