Flying south for the winter is NOT just for the BIRDS..

Have you ever looked outside of your house on a brass knackerish kinda day and thought.. how the hell do BIRDS survive in such conditions?  Surely it cannot be because of fat alone.  Built up by gorging on all that is calorific during the good months?  Nah, it must be something else.  Believe me I have tried.  There is no way you will find me ever again at this time of the year perched in a tree in my birthday suit with perhaps only a feather boa to tickle my fancy.  Come springtime well, thats a different story.

Then there are those long distance flyers with inbuilt compasses and a longing for warmer climes who undertake audacious journeys to get to their winter destinations.  Now, that I can relate to.  Yep, that's what I'm gonna do.

Yep, I've got a flap on right now.  In just over 2 weeks I'm away.  To NEW ZEALAND!

Oh GOD, so much to sort!  I'm taking my Surly OGRE bike with me.  Oh the arguements, wails and moans here with DAWES, the little pleader, who has begged me until blue in the frame to take her instead.  I'm sorry old girl, your back end is starting to get crusty and the last thing I want on such a journey is to have to find extra lubrication when getting down and dirty on a sexy mountain climb. 

Some of you may recall how I said I would go in 2023 post celebrating 60 years on this planet.  Sadly things conspired to stop me.  Not only my eyeballs, both of which fell to bits and needed surgery to repair; but other age related matters too with other neighbourly folk, family and friends who just kept me spinning at their hospital bed sides whilst twiddling with my faulty direction finder.  

Late last year was the first time that I could realistically consider going and so be damned with the consequences. Time waits for no man, Wayne, even for those like you who are bird brained.  You are 63. So let’s get real here.  There's not many more years where such a stupendous journey can be undertaken on a bike.  Remember how you look in the mirror nowadays and see the CROWS feet and TURKEY skin descending from yer chin almost as fast as yer testicles?  Get yer flight booked old man!  

And so on the 3rd February at the height of New Zealand's summer I am flying there courtesy of Cathay Pacific who I hope have a less fault prone compass than me.  

I will at least cycle from Auckland to Christchurch; a journey through the beautiful forest scenery and hills of North and South Islands of about 1000 miles.   

This is my planned cycle route:

 

No, I am not planning to do the equivalent of Lands end to John O Groats - so from Cape Reinga to Bluff.  Nah, too long and pressured for this particular old fat man.  I don't need to do the end to end stuff any more.  Whilst my plan is to follow a lot of the Tour Aotearoa cycle route in the North Island my idea is to then ride the remote easterly route over the Molesworth Reserve on South Island to Christchurch.  Still with over 4 weeks of riding time whilst there I expect to take other cycle routes and detours and so have a chance to explore.   If I get bored / fed up of putting myself through the wringer every day then I have the option of coming home early.  Likewise should I be enjoying myself  - well - the tourist visa is valid for 2 years!

Nothing is set in stone.  I have only booked the first 2 nights in Auckland to help acclimatise when I arrive as the jet lag will be immense.  From that point on I will look at the availability of accommodation for the next days riding and plan my route accordingly.  I will be experiencing some beautiful places on this ride for sure, which I will be recording and so boring those of you who might want to share the journey with me as I go / when I get home.  I am also carrying all my camping gear so if no warm bed is available, and I expect to have that little problem quite a lot in the remoteness of it all, then camping it is, drinking river water and surviving on cold rations.  Don't forget.  New Zealand is bigger than the UK with a population only about the size of Scotlands.

Here's my bike with most of the kit fitted....

Over the coming 2 weeks I will share details of my prep for this little swan song in this BLOG and also give more details of how you can perhaps track me 'on line' and so follow this little jaunt as I will not be sending emails out every day.  However I will be writing into this BLOG whenever a network connection is available and will be attaching photos and video's as I go.  

For those of you who are interested in following a fat man flying south SOLO for the winter, who is perhaps at risk of croaking as he navigates 1000 plus miles of mountainous cycling climbing a minimum 60,000 ft, then I will have a tracker on my bike courtesy of the new Garmin crap nav so should you wish you can ‘dot stalk’ me as I go.  Don't be surprised though to find me somewhere in Antartica towards the end of the journey - it is a Garmin CRAP NAV after all.

Watch a fat old man FIGHT his way though the scenery?  May I suggest you go out and find yourself a snuff video instead...

But, it'll be only half as funny! 

Ciao for now...

PS, 

For those of you interested in and who perhaps have not seen the videos of our 600 mile cycle ride through the Outer Hebrides and down through Scotland last year then here you go..  

Part 1 

 Part 2