Big Bums

Good morning campers!

The great news is that London Alan (Alan Walls) has decided to join me on my version of the Scottish 500. YAY!  I've got another riding buddy! He's tall and slim in a way like I'm not.  I'm smiling at the thought of 'Stan and Ollie' setting off from Inverness to the sound of the Laurel and Hardy theme tune on May the 21st.

If my Blues Brother Mark can organise it with his kind wife Gill they too may join us for a day or so.  I promise not to vomit on them if we see them.  Well, they do live in Moffat which is in Scotland innit but I do forget it is still 250 to 300 miles by car from their home to Applecross.  This too might be one of those really good ideas that needs to be put in the really good ideas bin as it is a loooong drive with loaded bikes to get to us only for a day or two in the saddle.  We'll be in need of support though to get to the top of Bealach na Ba and my Blues Brother is just the man!

Yes yes yes, I'm still circa 20 stone.  I have a sore back today but the weather is brilliant so I'm gonna go out for a gentle 30 mile cruise on the bike as I'm sure the exercise and warmth will help settle my aches down especially with gentle stretching every 10 miles or so.

The reason I bought a new saddle and so invited Bee onto this years ride is that this particular model (yup Hairy Melon has fallen for him) has wider shoulders and so is more likely to carry Hairy Melon and me to the end without damaging any of us.  She's a big girl now.  Every time I sit her down young Bee says it's a bit like watching a gigantic solar eclipse descending towards the earth... that is one with an enormous pencil sharpener in the middle of it.

This year we'll be doing at least one night tenting and 2 nights in camping huts so carrying a sleeping bag is a must.  Last year I bought a 2 season 'adult' bag which was 200cm long and 80cm wide.  For a normal guy no problems but for this particular fat man, well getting my shoulders into it was akin to rolling on a rather tight condom without lubrication.  I gave up and ended up sleeping on the floor mat with the limp bag draped over my shoulders.  Thank God it wasn't cold.

Anyway there's no way I'm gonna risk it this year.  I do have a much bigger 3 seasons bag which is just the right size for me but it's about twice the packed volume of the other.  As I am a sailor I've bought a fully waterproof sail bag similar in colour to the rear panniers.  The net result though is that ma bike now has a rather fat arse.

Here's Fat Arse with panniers, two man tent and sleeping bag bowline'd to the rear rack...

It looks heavy but unlike like me it's full of fresh air so not bad at all.  Biggest impact to biking with this lot will be 1, getting my leg over the damn thing - almost came a cropper on the test ride today and 2, if it is windy the bags will act like a huge sail.  I'd be off on an uncontrolled broad reach throwing the anchor out to prevent a beaching on a lee shore.  Nonetheless, all this lot is fully waterproof and whatever the weather, whether the weather is rain or heavy rain or very heavy rain, the sleeping kit and clothing will remain dry.  

Over the next day or so I'll be re-fitting the front rack.  The front bags this year will carry the waterproofs (hah so that bag will be empty for most of the ride) and the cooking gear and food (I'm still waiting for my new Triangia stove to arrive in the post)

The day will soon come when I settle Hairy Melon down onto a worried looking Bee, jab my spurs into Fat Arse's flanks and ride off into the rain on a snorting, kicking and braying bike.  

Heee Haw!