It’s 3.36 am Zulu. Local Time. My name is Jake Sully. I’ve just awoken from a very deep dreamless sleep. So unlike me except for the very very early rise. There’s a mixture of apprehension and even more apprehension coursing through my body as I lay in bed typing this codswallop into my phoney friend. The flight to New Zealand was uneventful. Long, yes. Boring, yes. Uneventful. Unlike in the film AVATAR , Kathy Pathetic’s wannabe Boing Dreamliner completely failed to put me into deep hibernation. Desperate to be away with the fairies was I but no, not yet, Wayne. Eventually perhaps when Kathy has had her way with me and at a time yet to be given to me by the Lord of the Rings. I will eventually lose my thrust on this long long flight amongst the stars and come back down to Earth. Yesterday morning I was born again into this distant Pandorian world. Fed by a satiated Kathy a plate of malformed scrambled eggs, cardboard bacon and a brown coloured liquid which might...
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