Bum Cream
In the last entry I noted that my bum, whilst being much better since the Majorcan gel seat was cast into a bottomless pit, still had a few sore bits near my bits and so I need more Chamois cream before I start LEJOG.
Yesterday I popped in to the Giant cycle store in York and asked the young male assistant behind the counter "Have you got any bum cream?" to which he replied "Sir, I think you will find that the adult store is another 4 doors down..."
A "No no no - I need some of that stuff that one applies to yer bits to prevent nappy rash whist riding a bike" conversation developed, as though I was asking him to give me 'something for the weekend' from under the counter...
This was eventually followed by a "Oh..." from the young man. Off he strode and returned 30 seconds later with a small tube of pale brown cream [why brown????]. "Have you got any other?" I asked after seeing the price and he said, "Well we do occasionally sell the better stuff which is a lot more expensive but this is just as good." I didn't dare tell him that I thought 15 quid was a bit rich for a two finger-wide tube of bum rub. [Oooh missus - stoppit!]
Somewhere in that fnar-fnar conversation, and as I was (and probably had been) the only customer in the shop that afternoon, and as he was keen to make a sale, he also said "its also a nice smelling cream..."
With raised eyebrows I replied "... well personally I cannot get my nose quite that close to my arse any more" and also whilst thinking about Kathryn, that... "I don't expect anyone else will want to get their nose quite that close to my arse any more..."
Strange conversation really. I told him that I was doing LEJOG but I think that the bum cream conversation had somehow affected his mind as unlike the same LEJOG discussion with other mere mortals, my segway went completely over his head...
He did tell me that he also used the same cream whilst riding his bike and that it worked rather well for him... Errrr...
Bum cream conversations between two men in an empty store are not de-rigueur for this particular fat man. After a short silent pause I quickly bought the cream and promptly left...
For sure I think a conversation about tight fitting tandems might just have been a bit less gauche.
Yesterday I popped in to the Giant cycle store in York and asked the young male assistant behind the counter "Have you got any bum cream?" to which he replied "Sir, I think you will find that the adult store is another 4 doors down..."
A "No no no - I need some of that stuff that one applies to yer bits to prevent nappy rash whist riding a bike" conversation developed, as though I was asking him to give me 'something for the weekend' from under the counter...
This was eventually followed by a "Oh..." from the young man. Off he strode and returned 30 seconds later with a small tube of pale brown cream [why brown????]. "Have you got any other?" I asked after seeing the price and he said, "Well we do occasionally sell the better stuff which is a lot more expensive but this is just as good." I didn't dare tell him that I thought 15 quid was a bit rich for a two finger-wide tube of bum rub. [Oooh missus - stoppit!]
Somewhere in that fnar-fnar conversation, and as I was (and probably had been) the only customer in the shop that afternoon, and as he was keen to make a sale, he also said "its also a nice smelling cream..."
With raised eyebrows I replied "... well personally I cannot get my nose quite that close to my arse any more" and also whilst thinking about Kathryn, that... "I don't expect anyone else will want to get their nose quite that close to my arse any more..."
Strange conversation really. I told him that I was doing LEJOG but I think that the bum cream conversation had somehow affected his mind as unlike the same LEJOG discussion with other mere mortals, my segway went completely over his head...
He did tell me that he also used the same cream whilst riding his bike and that it worked rather well for him... Errrr...
Bum cream conversations between two men in an empty store are not de-rigueur for this particular fat man. After a short silent pause I quickly bought the cream and promptly left...
For sure I think a conversation about tight fitting tandems might just have been a bit less gauche.
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