I'm a creaky old fat Labrador

Well that does not include smelling like one (oh god what do people feed to old dogs?) nor do I have the bad habit of pushing my nose into the crotch of strangers.  Well not yet.

But the image of an old dog came to mind today.  Stood in my birthday suit in front of a long mirror I looked like an upended picture of a sprawled out old fat dog.  Without the fur and the ability to lick my own bits.  Its clear to me why dating at this age of life tends to involve visually impaired people with no sense of smell.

Here are the starting numbers

Age -  55 and a half
Height - 5 foot 11.5 inches
Chest - 51 inches
Waist - ahem - 47 inches (no I did not suck it in!)
Thighs - 26 inches round
Calves - 17 inches round
Weight - groan - 19 stone 7 pounds
BMI - says fat bastard...
Bike says - one person at a time please...

Pictures might follow

OK this is the starting measurements.  It is quite an embarrassment writing them down.  I wonder what 1200 miles and 40,000 foot of ascent riding a bike from Land's End in Cornwall to John O'Groats at the very top of Scotland will do to me.  A&E anyone?

Rolls-Canardley cars come to mind.

Should I really be attempting this?

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